Thái Sơn: Reflection LA Assembly, Pittsburgh 2012

"Too bad I have to miss the last day of the Assembly"

I said to myself when sitting at the airport to return to Dallas. I have a flight to Vietnam to catch early the next day, so here I am, sitting on the plane reflecting back on the graces of the last couple of days.
What remains in me?

Faith. Hope. Love.

This weekend was about a communal discernment as we discern together a new way of being and organized together within CLC USA with the richness in its diversity. I remembered the first nights our Dong Hanh brothers and sisters checked in together and asked for the graces to be open, to be real and humble. It was quite a challenge and journey...

I believe it was not a coincidence that this weekend of discernment about the restructuring process falls onto the Feast of St Peter and St Paul, the 2 pillars of the our Church. Cha Tri Dinh, during his homily on Friday, reminded us that Peter and Paul, 2 men who made a lot of mistakes in their life, but yet always remain open to let that consuming love of God transform them. A love of God so immense that in Jesus, God is willing to give up, to "waste" all that He has and all that He is for us. St Peter represents unity, structure... On the other hand, St Paul represent diversity, charism... They have done so much for our Church. Yet, at the end of their life, all that they have and cherish is this love of God that has transformed their life. They knew and have always found their home.

In this re-structuring process, there is this tension between unity and diversity. It was real. We have been going through this today. There were moments of desolation, tension, doubt, fears, questions and uncertainties today when we listen and discuss about the new proposed structure of CLC-USA, as there were also uncertainties of what will happen to Dong Hanh-CLC in the future. As we got the chance earlier this afternoon in the chapel to pray, to be real with one another with our thoughts and feelings, we started to face our fears, desolations and doubts. As we shared and let the Spirit speak, we started to be a little more peaceful and become a little more free. We trust a little more that God has a plan and dream for us. We walk together more in faith.

I remember someone asked St Ignatius after he founded the Society of Jesus :"How do you feel if the Society of Jesus is suppressed". He replied:"Give me 15 minutes to recompose myself in prayer and I will be ok." His reply still strikes and touches me so much every time I think of it. What an inner freedom! That is the indifference and detachment that we often talking about in Ignatian spirituality. St Ignatius is very clear about what is the gift. Who is the giver. What is a means. What is an end.  At the end of the day, for Ignatius, it is not about the Society of Jesus, it is about Jesus.

This story gives me a lot of hope. For about 30 years and for all of us, Dong Hanh-CLC has been a big gift from God.  We have been embracing this gift and sharing it with others. Yet, we are also called to be indifferent and detached from this gift, just like St Ignatius. In the context of this re-structuring process, we are called to be more open and give more space for God to shape this gift, to be more ready to let go, as well as to trust deeper and hang on tighter to Him. I remembered one of our Dong Hanh NCC member just shared this afternoon:"Before I am a Canadian, I am a Vietnamese. Before I am a Vietnamese, I am a Catholic."

I hope that the whole Assembly will continue to be open to the guidance of the Holy Spirit, to be open to the changing and unfolding of the structure through the suggestions, inputs, recommendations of everyone, so we can strive together to build a structure that embraces unity as well as diversity, that is empowering, that fosters relationships, that helps one another discover and live out one's  personal vocation, which is the heart of CLC charism.

I don't know what God has in store for the new structure of CLC-USA. I don't know what the new "house" will look like. All I can do is trust. All we can do is to continue to build loving, genuine relationships, to foster the sense of home, so that when the house is there, it would be a "homey" one, and there, it would be full of joyful people who is so filled with love, that they would be able to say to one another:"I love you so much that I am willing to give up all that I am and all that I have for you".

"So faith, hope, and love remain, these three... But the greatest of these is love" 1 Cor 13:13

Tinh Chua qua tinh nguoi.
When we are not sure what the next step would be, the next surest step is to love.

Thái Sơn